Who doesn’t love a good ol’ fashioned vent session? After experiencing a negative or unpleasant event, it’s natural for us to want to rush to a friend, coworker, spouse, or anyone who will lend a sympathetic ear. We want to voice how we’ve been treated in this scenario, how it’s affecting us, and we want someone to empathize with how we’re feeling.

Well, research sited in the Inc.com article, which covers the four rules emotionally intelligent people follow to make faster decisions, better first impressions, and live happier lives encompasses the fourth & final rule highlighted in the article: The Rule of No
Complaints.

The research in the article tackles the science behind how complaining or venting actually harms us in the long run, and in multiple areas of our lives.

We’re basically training our brains to seek out more things to complain about, since it’s starting to recognize it as a habit.

Complaining about a negative occurrence, especially when it’s fresh in our minds, solidifies it in our brains & reinforces our role as the victim. And how could embedding that event in our minds possibly help resolve or process the impact that it’s had on us?

Well, as it turns out, it doesn’t.

This doesn’t mean that we have to bottle our emotions or refuse to voice how we feel about something  (more than we already do). But there are ways of going about expressing how we feel that contribute to learning & growing from said experience.

Instead of complaining, and pulling someone else into this ordeal so that our misery can have some company, do some brainstorming! Toss some positive ideas around, as to how to reframe our perspective on what happened.

Every negative experience has a (sometimes hidden) lesson within it. What can you do to avoid it in the future? Can you take more beneficial action, should it happen again? What has it taught you about yourself?

Following this rule will flex your emotional intelligence & train your mind to look for positive resolution in these moments, and throughout your life.